Tim Ferriss, the New York Times Best Selling author and host of the massive podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, said something years ago that haunts me every day.

“How you do one thing is how you do everything.”

Why does this haunt my mind?

Because it’s true. Think about it like this.

Are you someone who feels they have to get tasks done right then and there?

Do you feel like when you get a text message you have to answer it immediately?

Then I’m willing to bet that you are someone who rushes out the door in the morning.

I’d also venture to assume that you have clutter all over your car (and bedroom and home). And you probably scarf down your food vs sitting and eating and chewing it at a slow(er) pace.

Okay, one more example for you.

Are you someone who sweeps dust under the rug, or tosses piles of papers on top of the giant stack on your desk and tell yourself, “I’ll get to that one day” only that stack continues to grow like a JENGA tower?

If that’s you, then I bet you also have some (physical and/or emotional) aches and pains that you ignore and “hope” will go away.

You probably also sweep your emotions and how you feel under a rug and try to hide from your feelings.

Alright, alright, Robbie geez. Enough with calling me out, eh? What’s the point here?

Look, Tim Ferriss is right.

How you approach the small details in life is how you also approach the bigger issues in your life.

But I’m gonna go one deeper here.

Yesterday, I heard my neighbor yelling at her daughter. The type of yelling I heard isn’t uncommon. In fact, it’s a daily occurrence, sometimes multiple times a day.

What she said to her daughter was absolutely terrible for a mother to say to a 15-year old. Something along the lines of “well no wonder you’re so stupid” or “this explains why you’re useless.”

My heart went out to this youngster. I wonder how this girl saw herself based on her mother’s words?

And that’s when Tim Ferriss’s words hit me. But this time it was different.

This time what I realized is that, how you talk to yourself is how you talk to everyone.

Let that sink in for a second. Let it get real deep in your mind.

How do you speak to yourself in your mind when no one can hear you?

• What words do you use?
• Are you kind to yourself?
• Or do you denigrate yourself at every turn?

Now think about the things you say to your friends, co-workers, partner/spouse, or your kids.

How similar are those words?

If Tim Ferriss believes, “how you do one thing is how you do everything,” then I believe “how you speak to yourself is how you speak to those you love.”

Wanna be a better and more caring friend?

Want your partner/spouse to feel appreciated and loved?

Want your kids to feel confident and capable for the road ahead?

Start by being better and more caring about how you speak to yourself.