Your vacation is finally here.

All that time you’ve spent dieting to lose that unsightly belly fat and all those hours you invested into the gym to chisel out your rock hard muscle is about to pay off. You’re gonna rip your shirt off on the beach and a choir of angels will sing to your heavenly glory.

But with all that time you’ve invested in the gym, you’ve come to love working out. Thinking about not hoisting heavy ass weight while you’re at the beach or sipping drinks by the pool leaves you feeling a bit sad.

Sure, the hotel you’re staying at has a gym, if you can call it that. All they have is a treadmill, an elliptical, and the loneliest medicine ball you’ve ever seen. So how are you supposed to get a pump before you hit the beach if you don’t have dumbbells?

It looks like the only tool you’re going to have is your own body weight. Luckily, the same principles you use every day in the gym apply to any bodyweight workout. You can use the exact same principles in your hotel room as you do in the gym to get your pump on.

bodyweight workout
Not these guys. These guys are doofuses.

These principles include:

Circuits

Barbell or dumbbell circuits are great for ramping up your heart rate and increasing fat loss. But the advantage of bodyweight circuits is that they make transitioning from one exercise to the next seamless.

Moving from a push-up to mountain climbers and finishing with a forearm plank means you never have to stop and prepare for the next movement. That seamless transition will keep your heart rate pounding and the sweat pouring.

Explosive movements

Explosive exercises require your body to swiftly contract your muscles into action. This forces your nervous system to recruit more muscle fibers that you’d otherwise leave on the sidelines.

Unilateral Movements

Unilateral movements burn a ton of calories. Bulgarian Split Squats, single leg RDLs, or pistol squats increase your core activation and recruit additional stabilizer muscles to keep you balanced and aligned.

And because you’re working one side at a time, you’ll improve the pump in the targeted muscle.

Angles

Treat bodyweight training like sex: use multiple positions (or angles) to get the job done.

Change the positioning of your hands and feet during push-ups, hip thrusts, lunges, or glute bridges. Small changes like hand or feet positioning not only adds some spice to your workout, but they also allow for increased range of motion and muscle recruitment.

These The Rules, Bruh

You don’t need to be complicated when it comes to crafting a bodyweight workout. Like all things in life, follow the Keep it Simple, Stupid (KISS) principle. All you need are the six exercises below combined with the principles above to create the best damn bodyweight workout ever.

  • Push-Ups
  • Squats
  • Lunges
  • Single Leg RDLs
  • Glute Bridges
  • Planks

The one rule you need to follow is that all of the exercises you choose must be performed in a circuit. You’re looking to get 1) get a pump for the beach and 2) you ain’t got time for an hour-long workout.

Always start your circuit with an explosive movement like jump squats, star jumps, plyo push-ups, or lunge jumps. Then quickly move into a unilateral movement like Bulgarian split squats, single leg hip thrusts, single leg Romanian deadlifts, or pistol squats.

Once your heart rate is up and you’ve felt those first few drops of sweat cascade down your forehead, now you’re ready to have fun by adding a couple angled movements.

Play with your hand placement during push-ups or tinker with the angle at which you perform the push-up—decline or incline.

Lunges that Made Ganondorf Cry

When it comes to getting a pump in your lower body, the best way to accomplish hitting all angles is to do a set of what I call “Hyrulian Lunges.” They’re walking lunges where you’ll do a set of long stride lunges, followed by normal stride, and then narrow stride.

Longer stride lunges ignite your gluteus maximus, while shorter strides torch your quads. Add in the core activation and all the stabilizer muscles that fire during this sequence and it’s a party for your whole lower body.

Finish it all off with 60 seconds of planking. Rest for 90 seconds and complete all your exercises in the circuit four to six more times.

Now that I’ve given you general tips on how to create a bodyweight workout, let me bestow upon you the two best damn bodyweight workouts, ever.

The Best Damn Upper Body Bodyweight Workout Ever

  • Star Jumps – 15 reps
  • Single Leg RDL – 12 reps per side
  • Wide Grip Push-Up – 12 reps
  • Bodyweight Renegade Row – 12 reps
  • Pike Push-Ups – 12 reps
  • Diamond Push-Up – 12 reps
  • Air Curls – AMRAP
  • Plank – 60 seconds

Perform all exercises with little to no rest between. Rest for 90 seconds between circuits. Perform 4-6 circuits.

The Best Damn Lower Body Hotel Workout Ever

  • Plyo Push-Ups – 10-15 reps
  • Pistol Squats – 10 reps per side (you can do these to a chair)
  • Single Leg Hip Thrusts – 15 reps per side
  • Hyrulian Lunges – 12 reps per side & per stride
  • Glute Bridge with Feet Elevated – 12 reps
  • Spiderman Planks – 12 reps per side

Perform all exercises with little to no rest between. Rest for 2 minutes between circuits. Perform 3-4 circuits.

Using a bodyweight workout won’t give you the same massive boner that pushing 225 pounds off your chest or ripping 500 pounds off the floor will. But implementing the same principles you use in the gym with your own body weight gives you a way to get a pre-beach pump on.

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